The Foolish Love (short story)

This short story called “The Foolish Love” was originally written and published by Mellati Deluna on February. 20. 2010.

This is my first story. Critics and compliments are welcome. Please feel free to hit the comment button bellow and give me some honest feedback. That would mean a lot to me

THE FOOLISH LOVE.

The day was gray and my heart grew cold. I put on my coat and decided to take a walk, all by myself. I have chosen my path and thought i’d be happy walking it but i was wrong. One day, i woke up and realized i’d made the worst mistake in my life. What should i do now? Complain? Cry? Try to turn back time or do all of it? Or perhaps i should just walk away and try another path, another luck, like a new beginning. “I CAN’T!!” My heart yelled. I had invested too much of my time and i’d walked way too far to go back to where i came from.
I tucked my hands inside my coat’s pockets and kept on walking. The little street i was walking on was wet and covered with brown slush. Disgusting! I thought to myself.
I kept walking until i reached the city park; Famous with its beautiful little lake and its beautiful flowerbeds during spring and summer time. There weren’t so many people that day, probably it was because of the weather which was much too cold for being outside, but I was dressed for the weather. I sat on a bench and watched the water fountain. That was when the flash-back played in my head. Back then, everything was different; the time when i was young and pretty.
It was a nice sunny day in July 1987, when i met him. Berlin was my hometown and i’ve never thought i would ever want to move away for any reason, but i did, indeed.
They said love is blind, believe me it’s true. When you are in love, anything else in the world don’t seem to matter, all you want was to be with the person you love and everything you do is right or at least you want to believe that it’s right. I was married to a man named Robert Dulaya whose heart was as big as the sea and his love to me was unconditional. He was one of the wealthiest men in Germany, though he was never on the news and no one ever really talked about him nor his wealth. People were scared of him, people didn’t want to touch him, people think it was better to think that the man doesn’t exist. He was strong, powerful and undeniable and no doubt that he was the best man i have ever met in my entire life.
I thought i was happily married, I’d always told my friends that I was very happy. Until one day, i met another man…
He was tall, brown haired blue eyes, and a pointed nose that looked perfect in my eyes. He looked at me straight into the eyes as if he was waiting for an answer. He smiled at me and I must say that his smile was dazzling. I froze in amazement, gone into another world which its name i’ve never heard before.
“Excuse me, Miss.” He lowered his body and cocked his head.
“Oh! Yeah, i am.. i am sorry.” I stammered nervously, embarrassed by what just happened. Actually… what did happen?.
“No, it’s okay,” He smiled. “That would be seventeen mark, please.” He handed me the receipt.
I took twenty mark from my purse and gave it to him “Keep the change.” I said and smiled at him with the best smile i had, at least i tried.
“Oh, thank you very much. Enjoy your meal.” He smiled again and i swear i thought there were hearts popping out of my chest. I wished for him to turn around to look at me one more time, but he didn’t. He turned away and vanished behind the wall instead.
I carried the boxes to the dining table and opened them one by one. There were Pizza, greek salad, tenderloin steak, and a large vanilla ice cream. “He was so cute, i’ve never seen anyone with a smile like that before” I murmured to myself. I sat on one of my brown leather chairs and started with the salad. I was a little distracted by the meal but his face i could not ignore.
A few hours later at that same night, Robert approached me while i was putting on my pajama. He stood behind me, put his hairy arms around my waist, and kissed my earlobe, nibbled a little and said: “You smell wonderful…” I stood stiffly and i felt unbelievably cold inside. I must have looked like a tree trunk. I didn’t know what happened but the picture of the Pizza delivery guy kept popping up in my head. His smile, there was something extra ordinary about his smile and the way he looked at me, it was very… incredibly… sexy. I want to see him again! I need to and it’s got to be soon. “What happened?” Robert asked and turns me around to face him. A glimpse of guilt swept my heart. “Nothing my dear. Why did you ask?”. I could hear my dubious voice, though i’d tried to be as convincing as i could, i was still a very bad liar. “Come on… tell me.” He insisted.
“I am just tired.” I lied for the second time in less than sixty seconds. I knew Robert wasn’t fool and i knew that he knew something was wrong. He removed his hands off me and walked to the bathroom. I lay in bed, pretending to sleep. My eyes were wide open and my heart was questioning.
“What happened to me?!.” I said to myself. I turned to look at the bathroom door and hoped that Robert didn’t hear it. Robert came out from the bathroom and jumped into the bed. “If you want to talk, i am here” He said expectantly. Although i didn’t see him, i could picture how he was looking at me when he said it. I didn’t answer.
The next morning: I woke up with the pizza guy’s face in my head. I walked to the kitchen and poured me a glass of cold milk. I glanced at my watch, it was 9:30 a.m. Some part of me wanted to grab the telephone so badly, but another part of me said “Don’t do it!” I went to take a shower and even in the shower i couldn’t stop thinking about him. His full lips, his strong hands, and his broad sturdy shoulder. My mind ran wild and I liked the thought of how his touch would make me feel. I imagined his lips touching mine, his breath swept my face like the most addictive drug. Suddenly, Robert’s face came into my wonderful reverie and scared my pizza man away. I wrapped my head in a little towel and hurried to the living room to get to the phone. I dialed the Don Giova Pizza Service and “Riiing! Riiiiing!” It rang twice and then “Don Giova Pizza Service, good morning.” A man with an Italian accent spoke on the line. “Good morning,” I answered. “ I would like to order a pizza hawaii with extra pineapple and a mixed green salad, please.” There was a pause. I guess he was expecting that i would order more.
“Anything else?”
“That would be all for now,”
“Pick up or deliver?.” He asked.
“Deliver please.”
“Please tell me your address.” He said curtly.
I gave him my address and a more detail about the direction. Then I heard something fell, a food tray perhaps. A man shouted in Italian and then the man on the line spoke.
“Alright, your order will be at your house in approximately thirty minutes.”
“Thank you.” Then i hung up.
As soon as I had set the phone back to it place, a silly thought crossed my mind. The man on the phone must have thought I was weird for eating pizza in the morning. “Oh well, i don’t care.” I said to myself. I went back to the bathroom, half running. Brushed my teeth, put some colour on my olive-toned face, and made my hair. My hair was coal black and smooth as silk. When I was content with the picture in the mirror, I went to my dressing room and put on my purple dress. Then i went to the kitchen to make my tea. It was then, when my doorbell rang. I hurried to the door and fixed my hair before i open the door for the man who have took my heart with him yesterday.
I couldn’t remember when was the last time i was so disappointed; Someone else had delivered my pizza. I stood there with a purse in my hands, trying to hide my disappointment.
“That would be eight mark, Ma’am.” The man said politely. I took ten mark and gave it to him. “Thank you and enjoy your meal, Ma’am.” Said the big bulky man with blond hair. I didn’t response and shut the door in his face. The poor pizza landed in my trash-can at last. I threw myself on the black leather couch to contemplate what I can do to see him again. Never have I felt like the day went on so long which felt like it was never going to end. But thanks to Mr. Sun, it was finally dark outside. So I heaved my phone again and gave it another try. I supposed that he works in the evening only and who knows I will be lucky this time. So, i fixed my make up and rearrange my hair. Then i called the pizza service. I was hoping that this time it’ll be him who will bring me my pizza, but i was also aware that i could probably end up disappointed again. And so i was prepared. Twenty five minutes later, someone rang at my door and I ran to open it. There he was! Standing in front of me – looking even more fabulous than i can remember and he smiled at me again with his irresistible smile. I smiled back, and believe me, you have no idea how glad i was that day. I would have liked to jump around like a little happy kid, but of course I didn’t because I didn’t want him to think I was harebrained or crazy.
“It’s good to see you again.” I said, instead.
“It’s good to see you too, Miss.” He said with a puzzled expression.
“Would you come in and put that on my table, please?” I asked politely.
He hesitated for a second and then wiped his shoes and stepped in.
“This way.” I said sheepishly.
My heart fluttered wildly as though it wanted to protest that it was wrong what I was doing, but my will was stronger and it was dominating everything else in me.
He set my order on the table and handed me the receipt. I took it and asked him if he want something to drink. He said “No, thank you.” He tried to cover his nervousness but I still could see it on his face and the way he moves.
“I am Jenny, what is your name?” I couldn’t believe I said that. In fact, I coulln’t believe I’ve let him in at all. But I couldn’t help it. I’ve never did anything like this before, this is not me. This is someone else who is playing a game inside my body.
He looked around, anxiously.
“I am Thomas. May I ask, why do you want to know my name?”
“Em…” I couldn’t say more than that, I was dumbstruck by his words. Why? Because I didn’t expect him to say that, of course I should have, but the truth is… I didn’t.
“Anyways, I wouldn’t be working tomorrow. So if you care for a cup of coffee down town with me, I will be glad.” He said in a very careful manner.
I stared at him like an idiot. Did he just ask me out? He smiled amusedly and then fished a pen from his shirt-pocket, ripped off a little bit of the Pizza Cardboard, and scribbled something on it.
“Call me.” He said, handing me the little piece of cardboard.
Thomas Grinkov was the best thing that ever happened in my life, and he was also the worst. Never have I loved anyone as much as I loved Thomas, and as absurd as this might sound, I loved him more than I love my own self. I would have given up my life for him if he would have ever needed mine.
As for my husband, Robert Dulaya, he became dreadfully tedious in my eyes and our marriage had turned into something that is horribly disturbing.
Robert would come home every day and annoys me with his silly jokes which didn’t interest me at all anymore.
There was the time when I missed Robert so much and knowing he wouldn’t be home for a couple of days was painful. But after I met Thomas, I asked Robert a question a little too often than I should have.The question was: “When are you going to leave town again?” Of course I was anxious that he would suspect something, but I couldn’t help it.
On a sunny afternoon in May 1988, Thomas and I snuggled on Thomas’ comfortable red couch, accompanied with a bottle of red whine.
His kisses, the smell of his breath, the scent of his skin, I loved so much; And I could not live without them. When he whispers in my ears, those beautiful words, I would do anything he wants and that, I will do with pleasure.
“Jenny,” He whispers in my ear.
I shuddered involuntarily. I wasn’t sure why, but I guess it was because of his warm breath.
“Jenny, I love you.” He said a little louder when I didn’t answer.
“I love you more.” I said, smiling slightly. The fact that I was still married floated to the surface of my dream and ruin my romance. I pulled away from him slowly and leaned back on the couch, my eyes stared at the dim crystal lamps which illuminate the room but was not bright enough if you want to read with it.
“Whats wrong?” He asked.
“Nothing. I was just wondering where life will take me next, and what is there to be worried about.” I answered morosely. He shifted closer to me and tucked some hairs behind my ear. He kissed my ear and wrapped me in his arms. Then his lips met mine and we kissed passionately for a very long moment.
“Jenny,” He whispered in my ear again.
“Yes, Baby?” I said between my heavy breathing. He cupped my face with his both hands and he looked at me. His eyes were filled with moisture that we called tears.
“Marry me.” He said solemnly.
I flinched in surprised and sat up-straight a little too abruptly. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to do. I was overwhelmed by his two beautiful words. The thought of marrying Thomas made me happy but the thought of living Robert scared me. Yes, it had scared me. Besides, what should I say to Robert? Tell him I have met someone else and had stopped loving him since then? Was it wise of me to have lied to him to avoid hurting his feelings? I don’t know. What I knew was that Robert was a man that would never even hurt a fly and the thought of hurting him hurt me more than it might have hurt him. I scrambled onto my feet and ran toward the exit.
“Jenny!” Thomas called. “Jennifer, wait!” I kept running and hurried into my car. Locked the doors and drove off – leaving him dumbfounded behind me.
I wept all day long, not knowing what to do. I’ve avoided Thomas’ calls and ignored his letters. I waited for Robert to come home with a great impatience. It was 11:02 p.m and Robert hadn’t come home. I started to worry, because it was unusual for him to be home late, and worse, he didn’t call. I poured some wine into my favorite crystal glass and sat uncomfortable on the couch. I reached up the phone and tried to call him several times, but gave up eventually when I realized I was just making things worse. I never felt as helpless as i felt that day. I sat there, drinking glass after glass of red wine and contemplating what to do. I knew that if I chose to marry Thomas, Robert will be hurt but that’s not what scared me most; what would he do to me if he knew what i’ve done to him and is love? I was aware that I would probably end up working at Don Giovan Pizza Service or worse, but I knew that i was helplessly and irrevocably in love with Thomas that i didn’t care anything else. I just wanted to be with Thomas forever and being loved by him was the only thing i truly wanted.
I woke up the next morning, still on the couch, and an empty glass on my side. I lumbered to the bathroom and dumped my face with an ice cold water. It was a dream. I told myself. I heard footsteps approaching and dried my face quickly before I walked out of the bathroom. Robert was lying on the bed, his eyes closed and his hands on his chest. “Where have you been?!” I thundered. He didn’t move. “Rob, i am talking to you. You’ve got me worried all night. Why didn’t you call at least?!” I was angry, and for a moment, i forgot about Thomas. “There were some problems at the business.” He answered but he didn’t open his eyes. He never act like that before, he usually would come to me and give me a kiss, that was always the first thing he’d do before anything else every time he comes home, but not this time. I was very upset and anger always made me completely stupid and fearless.
“Rob, i want to talk to you.” I said to him. My voice sounded softer now, but uneasy somehow. He sat up and opened his eyes. “Tell me.” He said coldly without looking at me. “I want a divorce.” I choked and regretted the words immediately after I said it. I thought I lost my breath for a second.
He looked at me and i could see tears in his dark brown eyes but he held it. “I knew you would say that sooner or later.” His reaction surprised me, no, it shocked me. How could he knew that? He stared at his hands and played with his fingertips. “Robert!” I shouted angrily. “Are you listening to me? Do you understand what I am talking about?!”
“Yes. I understand you want a divorce?.” He looked at me listlessly.
“And you…?” I trailed off. He didn’t make a sign of interest on the subject. Maybe he was taking it as a joke. “I don’t get it!” I vexed and turned around toward the living room. But then Robert’s question startled me and I held my stride. “Do you really think that I am stupid?” Whoever was holding the remote control, he had just pressed the pause button. I froze in shock. I couldn’t move any part of my body, I couldn’t speak.
“I know about Thomas, and I knew it before you even know you was in love with him.” Suddenly I felt nauseated and terrified; the reason was unclear. Whoever hold the remote control just press the play button and I could move my head again, but I was to ashamed to look Robert in the face. So, i just stood there with my back on him and listened to what he got to say.
“I love you, Jenny. I love you more than i can love myself,” Then there was a long pause. “If being with him will make you happy, go ahead, I will support you and organize the wedding party for you if you like.” I burst into tears and i felt a terrible pain in my chest. I didn’t know whether it was because of what he said to me, or was it because what i did? What i knew was that i felt like a horrible, monstrous woman with no heart at all. Although I rather walk away and hide my face from him forever, I had to look at him and face him one more time. I turned around and walked toward him. I wanted to run to him but my feet were extremely heavy. When I finally reach him, I kneeled down and buried my face in his lap. “I am so sorry.” I sniffled.
“Don’t be.” He muttered. “ You can’t blame yourself for being in love, love happens.” He added, but with a clearer voice this time. He pulled me up and led me to his side on the bed. “This is your life, i cannot force you to love me if you don’t.” He exhaled and then continued. “If this is your decision, i’ll have to accept it. I am not happy about it, but i will be happy when you are happy.” Then he squeezed me and hugged me with one arm. I sobbed. He stood up and said: “I will be gone for a little while, so you can short your things out without me hovering around you.” He smiled tentatively but i could see bitterness in his smile. The smile of a broken hearted man, the smile of a man I once loved.

One and a half years later, i was married to Thomas Grinkov; A picture of a perfect man had come to life and decided to marry me. Robert left me plenty of money and I was thankful for that; Although it was rather heartless of me to accept his money after all I have done to him. But what difference would it make anyway? We used the money i got from Robert to open our own little jewelry shop. Thomas and I were perfectly happy with our marriage and very much absorbed into our own little world. But who said that happiness was eternal? And who said that marriage was going to be flawless forever? Whoever said that, he was wrong. Life is like a globe, happiness is like the sun, and sorrows are the stars. Two years later, the shop went bankrupt. Thomas spent too much money on gambling and I on shoes and handbags.
I’ve heard somewhere that money is the root of all evils. I assure you it’s true.
When we became more and more short of money, we grew more and more tired of everything. The house we lived in was no longer ours and the cars we used to drive belong to someone else now. You see? Even wealth doesn’t like to linger too long with us, it goes away when it thinks it should. Nobody can stop it. Despite our poverty, I wished I could have stopped the time and just live life like the way it is now,forever; although it was not the best life one could wish for, it could have been worse and I was frightened by the thought of losing everything, including the man I love. I want to stop the time so the worse cannot come. I enjoyed the moment; Sitting on a small textile couch with the man I love. The room was small, but it didn’t matter to me because Thomas was there with me and he loved me still. We sat together, holing hands, and since we could not afford a TV, we gazed at each other.
“Jennifer,” He said so suddenly.
“Yes?” I answered.
“I just got a brilliant idea.” He said elatedly.
“Oh, please tell me. I want to know all about it.” I said excitedly.
“But please, don’t get me wrong, this is the only way we can get to the level we were before.”
I suddenly became suspicious. “What is it?” I nudged him teasingly.
“A friend of mine told me yesterday that he knows a guy who would pay a lot of money if you want to escort him around Berlin for a couple of days. He was never in Berlin before.”
“You mean like showing him places to go and stuff like that?”
“Yes. Exactly! And accompany him for dinner or lunch too.”
“I can do that. How much would he pay?” I said enthusiastically.
“I think he mentioned three thousand mark for two days…”
“What?!” I cried. “Why would he pay so much money only to show him places?”
“Well, not only showing him places and dining… you got to stay with him over night too.” He said reluctantly – Throwing his gaze onto the floor.
“Are you saying that i have to sleep with him to get paid three thousand marks? Like a prostitute? Did i get that right?” I knew what he meant but i wanted to hear it from his mouth, the mouth I used to kissed and loved so much.
“Only for one time and then i promise i’ll get a job.” His voice so soft. He took my hand and I jerked it away. I stood up so swiftly and started pacing back and forth. How could he?! I thought to myself.
“Sit down honey.” He said softly.
I couldn’t stop. My feet didn’t want to stop. I was confused and devastated. I’ve never thought he would let me do such things, never, ever, in a billion years. But now i am standing here, awake and conscious, listening to my husband who is telling me to fuck another man for money! Do i really deserve this? “Why? Why are you doing this to me?!” I bellowed. Tears welling in my eyes. He stood up and tried to hold me but i revolted and kicked him between his legs. He crouched down in pain. I felt sorry and there was part of me which told me to apologize and take him into my arms, but my ego was greater than anything else. I turned away and stomped to the bedroom. The bed was hard and the heater didn’t work, so it wasn’t the most comfortable place to be in when you are angry. I lay on the bed and cry. A couple of minutes later Thomas limped into the room. “Look, i am sorry,” He said, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I love you and you know that. But i don’t know what to do anymore. All the resumes I’ve sent off had been rejected and we are already two months late for the rent. If we don’t pay by Wednesday, we will be sleeping at the train station.
“Please, look at me.” He pleaded. I turned my head slowly and looked at him in the eyes. I knew i loved him so much that i would do anything he wanted me to do.
“So, will you do that for us?” He cupped my face with his hands and kissed me. His hand embraces the back of my neck, his lips bestowed my face with soft kisses and then down to my chest and back to my lips. “I love you, Jennifer.” He said, his hands moving wildly all over my body. “I love you too and i’ll do anything for you.” I said foolishly. I was craved for his touch, and his sweet words. There was not a day I could live without his kisses. The next day i was sleeping with a man i barely knew. And then another man, and another man, and then another, until i realized that i was no longer his wife but a slave to him, dressed in designer clothes, driven in shiny limousines; the modern style of slavery. Unfortunately for me, it was already too late. I was already withered, famous and trashed. The whole Berlin knew me and what I did for a living. Life had became a horror to me and earth became a very unfriendly place to live. Thomas had found his new young lover and i was left alone. I couldn’t bare how people stare at me everywhere I go, and every time i bumped into someone i know, they didn’t even say hello but stared at me in despise. Do I really deserve this? Probably yes. But fate had decided to draw another picture for me with a green and flowery little path. So I walked on it and moved away to a small town called Wittnau. I am now forty years old, I work in a bakery from Monday to Saturday and I have a cat named Robbie. Tears running down my face and suddenly i heard a voice “May I sit beside you beautiful lady?” Robert Dulaya was standing in front of me – dressed in white from head to toe, a golden cane in his hand. “I don’t like to see you cry.” He added, and then he sat beside me and put his hand around my waist; Just like the day when i told him i wanted a divorce. “Do you want to glide into 2004 with me tonight?” He asked. I was still too surprised to even move. “2004?” I asked as I didn’t grasp the meaning of his question.
“I mean, do you want to celebrate new year’s eve with me tonight?” He said with a smile. Robert looked exactly the same like sixteen years ago, except that there were crowfeet on the corner of his eyes when he smiles. “If you don’t mind entering a new year with someone like me, yes I would love to.” I said in bitter memory.
He got on his feet and stretched his hand for mine. “What is yesterday is past, let’s not look at it unless we are tired of tomorrow.”
I took his hand and walked with him to enter the new green path which fate had draw for me and no matter what happened, this path will be mine until the very last puff of my breath.

The End.

Written By Mellati Deluna

All my writings are copyrighted. Do not touch! If you want to post it somewhere else you must add the credit “By Mellati Deluna”.

http://mellati.wordpress.com/the-foolish-love-short-story/